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My journals tell the real story of what went on, like the way things changed
after Bella Donna came out. No one in the band ever said a word to me about
my solo career. They were keeping quiet for their own best interests. They knew
if they ripped Bella Donna apart, I wouldn't give them any more songs.
Remember, Dreams ~ which is just me ~ is the only gold single that Fleetwood
Mac ever had. |
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Journal Entry: Monday Night, The Forum [1981] Needles and Pins was good. I feel that Tom and I are better than that, but then we are just beginning. And we will just get better. Gordon said it was Don and Phil. Dear Gordon was our love forthe Everly Brothers, it could have been faster, and we will certainly get stronger, but if it was nothing else, it was Tom and I, and Tom and I have the potential to be a stroke of genius, inside us, within us, we certainly can sing. Together, we can sing anything. We can sing whatever it is that is important to us. Singing with Tom and being a guest of the Heartbreakers has only made me see clearly that I want my own band. I do not want a band of musicians who play for the money. I want a band of angels who play for the love. I am not selfish. I do not want the glory of being a queen. I want a band with Lori and Sharon and Waddy and Russell and Bob and Benmont and Roy and Bobby and Davey and anyone else that wants to be in it, and really just whoever wants to be a part of this. I am willing to share it, and I ask very little of anyone. I only ask that you be the best band that you can be. It was only luck. And as she sits at her typewriter like Lillian Hellman
and she cries, 'Julia, my friend, my guide and my counselor,' and as Julia becomes
part of the ocean and her friendship's only part of the memory and she fights
and hangs onto a thread of life that has become daily more important to her because
it is, to her, her lifeline. And as Adria Petty looks up at me with love and trust
and expectations of me, I make my choice. I make my decision. When the singer
is gone, let the song live on. |
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My sister-in-law found my journals from the Tusk tour. Tragedy and drugs make incredible writing. Would you like to see them? [She brings in a pile of velvet-covered books. She opens one and flips through the pages, some of which are tearstained. Others have drawings of birds, flowers, stars. She reads:] 'August 24, 1977...One more time, on the plane. As usual, Lindsey is his usual asshole self. I am slowly coming to the conclusion that Lindsey and I are at an end. So sad to see good love go bad....Seattle. Worried about Christine. Wishing some spiritual guidance would come from somewhere. Where are the crystal visions when I need them?' As I'm writing prose, I'm also writing songs. 'Gather
the curtains, gather the darkness, gather me if only for a moment, gather the
seconds for soon it could be going, gather the blessings, for the years are showing.' |
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A musical western, and we all play the parts. |
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I go home from every tour with a binder full of journalistic prose of the tour,
and then also a lot of poetry. [Some of the poetry may eventually
become songs, and some it may not. But her tour journals are meant for a specific
audience -- her band.] They don't know that I'm writing this every night,
I don't show them until the end of the tour. Then I have it bound into a little
book, and I give it to everybody. |
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[Do you keep a journal with you wherever you go?]
Oh yes, absolutely. |
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I came here for a reason. I didn't come here to be a mother. I didn't come
here to be a nun. And I did not come here to be a cleaning lady. I came here to
be a poet. |
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On the 4th day of compassion I was impressed to write a poem about aids and about the angel that I do believe in my heart is there for us! I call her the 'passageway angel'. The next night I typed it up from my notes, and added the last verse. And walking through the This song holds a very special place in my heart. I hope you enjoy it! |
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My poetry
is all about the big picture. You may not understand some of it, but hopefully
you will understand what I'm trying to say by the time you get to the end of the
song. |
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